[CW: ableism/NT misinterpretation] Autistic people get run over, socially speaking, especially in new environments or with new people (and unfortunately it can be with people you know, too). I've been yelled at at least three times by medical professionals, and also by a patient because I failed to close the door within one second of … Continue reading Autistic (and Neurotypical Lack Of) Effort
Essentially, by not providing that social response, people can read whatever they want into my still/unsmiling face. This explains to me why I often become the backboard of people's emotions and assumptions.
Part 1: Autistic Burnout - Playing on the Social Field Autistic burnout = I literally can't pretend and devote 90% of my energy to being on your social playing field anymore. Metaphorically, I have to go lie down in the grass because I've played too many games on the social field. No one will have … Continue reading Autistic Burnout, “Regression,” and Identity Crisis – #TaketheMaskOff Week 4
And hopefully, we can slowly remind people that we're still human beings, even if we don't look you in the eye, even if we might only whisper or shout, and even when other people act like we are less human than they are.
If I acknowledge that masking wasn't always necessary, it means that I equally have to acknowledge the mental turmoil I lived through as an autistic masker. And daring to even go down that rabbit hole within myself means acknowledging how truly emotionally broken I was. How emotionally cut off from life that I was.
CW: Gaslighting, self-harm, intrusive thoughts (Long Post, Summary/Conclusion paragraph at the end) This blog post came about after having a dissociation episode after watching Westworld a few nights ago. This post has helped me realize the reason and cause of my dissociation, likely from being an undiagnosed autistic person for 25 years of my life. … Continue reading Autistic Masking, Late Diagnosis, and Dissociation: The Toll It Takes on Autistic Mental Health