Every year in the month of April, neurotypical people try to support autistic people. And usually without realizing it, they end up supporting charities (such as AS) that support and promote Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA).

What is ABA? It is what is written on that sheet of paper above from the NHS Leeds Community Healthcare. ABA is a therapy where the goals are not made by the client, but instead the goals are made by the ABA therapist (you know, the person getting paid to do this service) and the autistic person’s parent. And even if the goals are good (usually they aren’t), the way they are implemented only instills fear, pain, and control in the autistic child.

If a neurotypical parent withheld water from their 5-year-old kid until they answered a calculus problem right, would our society in general consider that abuse? I certainly hope so. This piece of paper from the NHS is something that was given to a parent of an autistic child for how to help “support” them. They list different situations where an autistic child could practice communicating.

---

Let’s focus on the second situation first, as this may seem the most obviously cruel. This guide tells the parent to put milk in front of the autistic child while they’re thirsty but without giving them a straw to drink it. Then, the parent is supposed to wait. Yes, wait. Not prompt the child, not ask the child to do something, not communicate to the child, just wait. The goal is to force the child to “initiate interaction” as if there is no other possible way for the autistic person to initiate interaction with their parent.

Then, after the child initiates interaction, because you know, the child is thirsty, the parent is supposed to force the child to do a task (“Do you want a straw or a plate?” which again, seems pretty obvious which one the child needs). The child is required to point to either a straw or a plate. The child must point (not explaining any of this to the child) to which object is the straw. Of course, it doesn’t say what to do if the child points to the wrong object or doesn’t point at all.

What if the child has dyspraxia and has difficulty pointing, or has light sensitivity and can’t see the objects? Should the adult keep waiting while the child becomes even more thirsty and potentially upset? These situations are why ABA is a breeding ground for meltdowns. The only way ABA knows how to “train” a child, to “motivate” them (as if they were lacking in motivation before this), is to negate their needs or take away their joy. This scenario used their needs as motivation for the task. ABA therapists will tell parents that it’s necessary to use these techniques to “reduce negative behaviors” but by negating their needs, they are the ones prompting that “negative behavior” in the first place (which is communication by the way). They’re creating an artificial problem and then telling us that continuing to negate autistic children’s needs and taking away their joy is the solution for instilling compliance.

These situations are why ABA is a breeding ground for meltdowns. The only way ABA knows how to “train” a child, to “motivate” them (as if they were lacking in motivation before this), is to negate their needs or take away their joy.

Tweet

ABA Rebuttals: “We Don’t Use Punishments Anymore”

Let’s talk about the first scenario at the top of the page. In this scenario, you are supposed to use their joy and their hobbies against them. And they often call it “rewarding” the child when really all they’re doing is taking something away from them. At first glance, many people might say that this is fine because it’s not punishing the child. However, taking away an activity after starting it can be very dysregulating to autistic people, especially autistic people who may not be able to communicate easily to allistic people.

This situation is all about giving the child a fun activity, then taking it away and withholding it from them until they comply. The parent is supposed to blow bubbles, and again, wait. This seems to be a theme. The parent isn’t supposed to tell the child what they want from them, so the kid just gets to guess. Apparently, the parent should wait for the child to make eye contact with the parent and vocalize. It says that usually a child would try to reach for the bubbles “but with encouragement [they] can also give brief eye-contact and vocalize.” In ABA, “encouragement” is withholding joy and needs. And again, it doesn’t say what to do if the child doesn’t make eye contact or vocalize. Without any further instructions, it’s essentially telling the parent to continue to do this until the child reads the parent’s mind and makes eye contact and vocalizes, even though there is scientific support that eye contact is painful and overwhelming for autistic people.

If a neurotypical parent stopped in the middle of an activity and withheld the fun activity until a neurotypical 5-year-old kid put their hand on a hot stove briefly, would our society consider that child abuse? I think they absolutely would. And since emotional pain and physical pain are not too different in terms of brain responses, why do we treat them so differently, especially in autistic people?

ABA Rebuttals: Preparing Autistic Children “For The Real World”

ABA therapists would argue that they are “preparing autistic children for the real world” and “helping the autistic child go to mainstream school” and “helping the autistic child to be more independent” and “helping the autistic child learn social interaction.” Would preventing a 3-year-old from drinking water until they tie their shoes correctly “help the child be more independent”? Technically. Would it be ethical or necessary for that child’s development or independence? Not at all.

The interesting part to me is how compartmentalized ABA is compared to general society. Many ABA therapists will argue that “everyone uses ABA in their lives” and “parents use ABA all the time.” This is when I ask why autistic people need a special separate kind of ABA from the rest of neurotypicals, if ABA is already everywhere? I usually get something like “It’s so they can be supported to be more independent.” And I would argue that, it might be for the autistic person to be “more independent,” but it’s actually so they can be traumatized into being more independent. Plenty of autistic people who have experienced ABA have said as much. And one of the biggest mottos in the last few years regarding child development is “A child will do well if they can.” Yet somehow, ABA therapists and ABA practices exempt autistic children from this philosophy.

ABA Rebuttals: Autistic Children Need More Motivation

The document goes on to say that parents can intentionally put their autistic children into frustrating situations where the autistic child has to request something from the adult in order to do the task or meet a need:

 “Adults can provide lots of reasons to help their child communicate by creating little obstacles and then waiting and looking expectantly for the child to indicate what they need or want: for example by, placing favourite toys out of reach, giving the child a paintbrush but no paints, giving them half of an orange/biscuit or by not filling the glass to the top with milk/water.”

Leeds Community Healthcare NHS Trust

They tell the parent to intentionally frustrate the autistic person while “waiting and looking expectantly for the child to indicate what they want or need” – apparently forgetting that this child is autistic and will probably wonder why the parent stopped talking and is just staring at them! How strange is that? And if an autistic child can’t speak or communicate in the way that is expected, are they supposed to not be able to get their toy, or drink their milk, or do a fun activity? Are they supposed to suffer? It doesn’t even say what to do in that case. These artificial scenarios used to force communication from autistic kids without telling them is a way to harbor frustration and resentment from autistic children. This is not a healthy way to learn to communicate, especially when most autistic children are already communicating in the way that makes sense to them – it’s just that therapies like this don’t consider that to be the “correct” way of communicating.

If an autistic child scrapes their knee at recess, is that a “communication opportunity” for them to ask for a band-aid? Is it more important for autistic people to communicate in the way neurotypicals expect or for an autistic child to develop in an emotionally healthy way?

Tweet

It’s as if there’s an assumption being made that autistic people don’t want to communicate in any way or form to other people, ever. And this assumption is dehumanizing, further traumatizes autistic people, and reinforces the “they’re stuck in their own world” trope that tells allistic people we’re not really human. This is why treating abled neurotypical children this way is not normalized and why so many ABA therapists who are more critical in other areas of their lives somehow have blinders on when it comes to autistic children specifically. If an autistic child scrapes their knee running around at recess, is that a “communication opportunity” for them to ask for a band-aid? Is it more important for autistic people to communicate in the way neurotypicals expect, or is it more important for an autistic child to develop in an emotionally healthy way? Because it certainly seems like this strategy is prioritizing the former.

And even worse, they specifically encourage parents to make sure that the autistic child’s siblings or peers do not help them when the siblings and peers can understand what they are asking for:

“Where possible, try to ensure that others, such as siblings or close peers, do not communicate for the child. Peers may often interpret what a child wants, for example, they may approach the adult to say ‘He wants a drink,’ which then means that the child’s opportunity to communicate has been taken away. Children need access to adults and peers who understand their method of communication and will respond at the correct level.”

Leeds Community Healthcare NHS Trust

They’re contradicting what they said about different forms of communication being valid. If the autistic child’s peers and siblings know what they are trying to communicate – then what that child is doing is communicating. How can they “take away” the opportunity to communicate when the autistic child has done just that in a way that their peers and siblings understood?

---

ABA Rebuttals: The Field Has Changed

You will hear this argument a lot from ABA therapists and other therapists who use ABA – “The field has drastically changed, we don’t do that anymore.” And to that I say, this paper was given to a parent in February 2023. You can’t get much more recent than that.

And by the way, you might be thinking “well why are you mentioning 3-year-olds, that’s clearly too young!” This person’s autistic child who had an evaluation there is currently 3 years old. They gave this to the parent of a 3-year-old autistic child.

ABA therapists can argue all they want about how this article seems unfair or biased. Trust me, it is biased. I am an autistic person who has heard from many autistic people who have experienced ABA. I listen to primary sources. And what this document tells me is that we have a long way to go to support autistic children without inadvertently traumatizing and abusing them.

Autistic people are not going to stop speaking out about this. Please spread the word, and if you are a parent that feels guilty about turning down ABA therapy, please do not feel guilty. You are doing the right thing for your child. Autistic people deserve a happy childhood and to be able to develop in their own way. And by the way, autistic people make friends with other autistic people – no eye contact necessary.

This is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to ABA therapy practices. Note that, sadly, any therapist can use ABA techniques. The person who handed this to a parent is a speech therapist. ABA techniques are very common in speech therapy and can even be found in some occupational therapy.

Lastly, if you want to know what the equivalent of ABA therapy would look like for a neurotypical child, I have written about this below. Please continue to lift up autistic voices and speak up. One day autistic people won’t have to fight so hard to be heard.

Addendum: You know, I could have filled in this post with a handful of links about autistic people’s experiences of ABA and why ABA is bad. In fact, I’ve already done that. If you’re wondering why I didn’t do it here, it is because autistic people are full human beings who should not have to share their trauma to be listened to. We shouldn’t have to find “hard evidence” when there are primary sources explaining their experiences on a personal level. We shouldn’t have to be doing any of this. If there was even a 10% chance that a neurotypical child was being abused during a therapy, that therapy would be called into question. Our society allows this traumatizing therapy to continue for autistic children as long as it looks like they are assimilating and complying on the surface. Personally, I would rather an autistic person be alive and need more support than have C-PTSD or have died by suicide. There are people who have shared that their experiences of ABA caused C-PTSD, preventing them from doing things in their life that they were able to do before ABA. I mean, it doesn’t even work in the long term. It just hurts people.

---

What Neurotypical ABA Therapy Would Look Like

Rewarding a child for not making eye contact.

Rewarding a child for stimming and taking the reward away when they don’t stim anymore. Expecting a child to hear the fluorescent lights buzzing, and “correcting” them when they don’t by pointing to where the lights are and saying “ow! that hurts!” and doing it over and over again until they do it themselves without prompting – only then do they get a reward. Rewarding a child for looking away from you, and if they keep looking at you, you ignore what they say to you because they’re not “listening with their ears.”

Only listening to their needs when they orient their ear towards you, not their face, even if they’re hungry. Only let them play with their toys when they do all of the tasks above “correctly” and have the parents restrict access to toys, so the NT kid can only have them while they’re in therapy to be used as a reward. Ask them to tell you that the food they like to eat is “yucky” and if they eat the food they like, don’t give them a reward.

Ask them to use sign language, and when they don’t know how to sign and won’t do it, take away the fun activity they were going to do next. If they don’t stim while doing a task, do hand-over-hand and make them flap because that’s what you’re “supposed” to do, that’s how you’re a good listener and student.

If they keep using metaphors or vague comments that aren’t accurate, correct them & tell them “No.” If they are playing and “pretending” objects are not what they are, make them stop by taking their hands off the toy. Show them how to “play correctly” by lining up the toys, and if they don’t do it, just keep showing them until they do. Make them do it over and over again. Tell the parent that they’re “playing incorrectly” and that the parent should reinforce “correct” play at home. Pretending an object is a different object is wrong, and it’s not healthy development for growing neurotypical children. If the neurotypical children become upset by any of this, don’t listen to them, especially when they make eye contact with you, because they’re not communicating correctly. They need to learn to communicate with their signs and be literal with their words to fit in. If they’re stressed out by what you’re doing, just ignore them and keep reinforcing the task, such as lining up the toys. Make sure they don’t get to do any “fun” activities that day like playing computer games or getting their comfort items. This will ensure that the child enjoys the therapy at all times.

Ignoring them when they are upset will promote self-regulation and make sure they learn to do things correctly, because you’ll give them attention and rewards when they do these things correctly.

• activism
• autism
• autistic adults
• parenting