[My current personal experience on disclosing: I have luckily never had to officially disclose to anyone in my lab, as everyone is honestly very supportive and understanding of my hyperacusis in general. If I need to, I just say "sorry I'm literal, do you mind rephrasing that?" or tell them I just have a hard … Continue reading Disclosure, Jobs, Networking
Author: Autistic Science Person
I don't have a blog post this week, but I did send in a piece to an AutCollab project. The project is to have lots of autistic people write about "what constitutes the essence of autism." It seemed like a very vague question, but I felt like answering it for some reason, so I had … Continue reading AutCollab Mosaic
What do I need to do to make non-autistic people understand that we have different sensory experiences than them, and have had different sensory experiences since birth? They can be overwhelming, unpleasant, and painful. They can be beneficial in some circumstances, and honestly, debilitating in many neurotypical environments. They can be both. But one thing is certain: They exist, and are real.
Once, I took a class about leadership, but really it was a presentation class. Every class period, we learned to be more aware of what we were doing, how we were sitting, how it felt. I was waiting for them to say what I was doing wrong, how I wasn't speaking well, or not making … Continue reading Leadership Skills
Part 1: Autistic Burnout - Playing on the Social Field Autistic burnout = I literally can't pretend and devote 90% of my energy to being on your social playing field anymore. Metaphorically, I have to go lie down in the grass because I've played too many games on the social field. No one will have … Continue reading Autistic Burnout, “Regression,” and Identity Crisis – #TaketheMaskOff Week 4
"I think we understand that everyone else is trying just as much as we are to form friendships and connections, and that autistic people's neurotypical-based social skills don't correlate to effort. We know we are always trying even if it doesn't look like it to other people."
And hopefully, we can slowly remind people that we're still human beings, even if we don't look you in the eye, even if we might only whisper or shout, and even when other people act like we are less human than they are.
If I acknowledge that masking wasn't always necessary, it means that I equally have to acknowledge the mental turmoil I lived through as an autistic masker. And daring to even go down that rabbit hole within myself means acknowledging how truly emotionally broken I was. How emotionally cut off from life that I was.
"But I do also cry when I open up and connect with people who love me, my family and husband. When I am overwhelmed with feelings of understanding and genuine caring from others. When I read other people's experiences that nearly mirror my own. When I feel like I can finally communicate and express caring towards other people without feeling weak or sensitive or immature and know it will be received and understood by others."
I want to know why my school doesn't care about disabled students. I wish I had cared sooner.